Nefarious and Nebulous

Yes we can (waste time)

• • Jan 5
  • Author

  in the spirit of wasting time

  i suppose i am good at that. stick with what works, right? it isn’t my place to make this about me. without you here, daily, my stomach knots up. remember when i told you that every mood you feel, i feel too? it has been that way since i started to get to know you roughly two years ago. i can’t quite explain it. you motivate me at work. without you around, it’s harder to concentrate. no one seems to notice, though. coworkers still laugh and joke. i feel very much as though i’m going through the motions. everything else keeps moving and i barely participate. maybe i have felt that way for some time, while you give me something to look forward to. it kind of covers it up a bit, gives it a silver lining. if i didn’t have time to spend with you outside of work, i took comfort in knowing i would at least see my favorite person between 11 and 6. i can’t shake the fear of seeing you less. i miss you every minute i’m without you.

  i can be pretty selfish. this is about you. and needing a fuck load of love.

  in one of your last posts you said “it’s good to remind yourself how to be valuable”. those are your own words. don’t forget them. let yourself be lost for a little bit, but come back to reality when you’re done, and quickly. the lost place isn’t a good place to spend copious amounts of time in. remind yourself how to be valuable. you are talented, intelligent, and know wonderfully helpful people. people that would do anything for you. you’re also in love with someone that is madly in love with you. these things are important. not everyone gets to be lucky enough to have all that.

  maybe shift. maybe reconsider. you have time. i love you.

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This is where two people share thoughts and ideas and learn a little bit about one another. And waste time at work.